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Monday, 04 May 2009

  • Letting go..

    Hon,

    I’ve been meaning to write this letter for awhile, I’ve never had a hard time saying what I feel but that seems to have changed ever since I met you. Even now, I’m finding it difficult to write down everything you have given me. How can I begin to write down the love I have known? So let me describe the gift you have given me, because mere words aren’t enough.

    I know that in every age, in every place, love is certain to be there, so there’s no reason to tremble because life on earth is but one brief moment, a moment truly worth living for. I have found that out by being with you. Having you in my life has brought me more happiness than a lifetime could bring. You've touched my life so deeply in your own way that you’ve helped me laugh and become my own self. I feel like I've searched my whole life and I have finally found the one meant for me and even though our time together was short, it will not be forgotten but remembered forever.

    Thanks to you I have conquered the world’s greatest challenge-Love and I will always be grateful for this extraordinary gift only we shared. In heart, and through the bind of love, you will always be my one true love, for my love was bound to you. Meeting you has made me realize how precious and fragile love can be. I would give up everything for one moment with you; for one moment is better than a life time of never knowing you. It hurts me to begin life without your touch and warm embrace but I know that some day the miles between us won't matter because one day I'll meet you again. Until then I want you to know that what lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

    I know that life seems to be a struggle after another. Our scenery is constantly changing, but there is one thing that remains constant…my love for you. Please don’t be angry at what life has done to us, because for the first time in my life…I can be free. Hon, I want you to emerge into your greatness. I’ve always had faith in you so be the best that you can and believe in your dreams as I believe in you. And although I won't be there to see you shine even more and be a part of your future and dreams, know that in the distance... I will be there with you.

    …I love you with all that I am, all that I was, and all that I ever will be.

Sunday, 12 April 2009

  • until the end of time..

    Since day one we've shared something incredible, something that most people only dream of. I had been searching for you all of my life. You have made me the happiest I have ever been. You are sincere, caring, loving man, and I wouldn't trade you for the world. I am so thankful and blessed that you loved me as much as I loved you. We have been together  for three months, and I have cherished every moment since the day we met. I love you more and more everyday. Thinking about our future fills me with anticipation and excitement. We make the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend  and A team together.  I know that we can make it this through. We have so much to be thankful for! We will just continue to lean on each other, loving and supporting one another with all of the love we have, and we will be just fine.

    I know you don't need another reminder because I kept telling you a thousand times a day how much I love you, but I do and that is my only way to show you. I love the hundred ways you show me how much you love me, and I know my simple words can never compare.  From day one, I knew there was something in you that no other guy had. You are the most AMAZING guy I have ever known. Thinking back to the strange way we met, how we grow so close in just a few short days, and how you were the first one to show me the meaning of true love, it makes me smile and fall all over for you again. You are the one I want to hold for the rest of my life. In your arms is where I belong.  You melt me every time you tell me about the future that you want to spend with me and how we could show the world the real meaning of being in love with the right person.  It has been the most amazing 3 months of my life and I've already done things I have yet to actually realize. You understand me and care about me more than anyone else has ever even thought about. You are so caring, and wonderful. You're perfect for me. I know will have a healthy relationship that is going to last a life time because you and I are willing to work at anything that needs to be worked at. We communicate and even if sometimes it's hard to tell each other our feelings we still understand them when they aren't being talked about. We sing love, that song that is stuck in your head and never seems to disappear until you have stopped loving that person. But it never gets boring, never gets old. It has new rhythms every time I think of you; it starts over every time I hear you.  It's something I've grown too. Something that I adjusted to and I won't ever leave it. 

     Things could not be any better than having you in my life. You are my inspiration and my shoulder to cry on, you're the one who stands by me through everything and most of all, you make sure that I am loved. There is no one that completes me the way that you do. You mean everything to me.

    There is nothing that I would not do for you and there is no one else I would want to share my life with. You are the reason I get up each morning and come to work, and you make me look at life with a new perspective. I have never met anyone as wonderful as you. I really miss you.

    There are so many things that I am grateful for I can't even count. You have been there for me through thick and thin and I thank you for giving me that opportunity to get to know you and for always being there for me. You mean so much to me, it's so unbelievable that I have someone such as you. Even when I am down you are there for me. Things have been so hectic that I could not have wanted anyone to be there for me but you.  There are many times when you've taken what I was feeling upon yourself and I feel that it is not necessary, but I thank you for it, and I know now that I am important to you. There has never been a love that I could call love in the relationships I've had. There are so many things that I can thank you for but that will be impossible for me to do because there are so many ....

    Ever since you walked into my life I have been smiling. There hasn't been a night when I have gone to sleep with a frown on my face, and it's all because of you. Hon, I am glad that you came into my life. I have always wanted the love of my life to be understanding, loving, caring, and faithful. I wanted someone who would accept me for who I am. I know that I’ve found that person in you. . I knew that you were the perfect match for me. I don't think that there is, or that there ever could be, anyone better than you out there for me.

    I love you with my whole heart. I have never trusted anyone the way I trust you. Sometimes I even doubt myself, but I know I will never doubt you because you are my true love. I know deep down inside that you will never break my heart or let me down in any way.

    Thank you for everything, hon. I pray to God every day to bless you with everything you deserve. I will love you until the end of time…..

Saturday, 04 April 2009

  • contemplating..

    Don’t you just hate it when you hear your doctor say the words, you are dying. At least I know I did. That was about 2 1/2 years ago. I can kind of joke about it before, but not until lately. I guess reality has set in and I have come to acceptance. Coming to acceptance definately doesn’t mean I like the idea or am just going to give in to the grim reaper when he comes calling. But,I am not afraid to die, I guess I am afraid of the process and for my loveone's....The possible pain and suffering at the end. I have a very strong belief in God and the after life, so that isn’t scareing me. At least, in my mind at this point it doesn’t scare me, as in my mind the end is still years away, the doctors though don’t seem to share my time line.

    I realize I am not alone in this, that there are hundreds of thousand of others out there in my same situation. I am hoping that by sharing my voyage maybe I can help someone along with me. Help them to realize there really is not reason to be afraid. This will not be the end. I am not a religious person as such. But I Consider myself to be very spiritual. I have my own very strong belief system.

    Also, I have realized that by this time next week I could be nothing more than a memory. I am not famous, have made not outstand contribution to the world as I haven’t invented anything or won the Nobel Piece prize. I am just an ordinary girl. But I was here, did I make a difference? I don’t know. If I did I don’t know how, other than a good daughter to my mom & dad. I have worked hard all my life, been a decent person but will still disappear into oblivion on death.

    Maybe, just maybe by sharing my voyage, I can help someone dealing with the same.

    I hope to remain positive along the way but my days to vary and at time may seem down, but I will do the best I can. I am not sure if any one is interested but I will have done my part by telling my story.

Sunday, 22 March 2009

  • Hiding inside myself..

    I tell myself that everything's going to be ok,
    that there is no reason for all this pain.
    The time it took to change, the time it took to
    see all those mistakes.
    The life I had, I can't have back. The choices I made,
    affected me in all those ways.

    The mistakes I made have not been forgotten.
    The tears I shed, the sounds I made, the feelings
    that left me feeling in a different way.
    Yet I can't see why these tears feel so unreal.
    I'm not the same, my words are unsaid.
    What I hide, is buried deep inside.

    To know, to love, to breathe.
    It hurts to know that I'll never be the
    girl I used to be. The one that would always laugh,
    the one that you knew would always be strong.
    The feeling is real, the truth is sealed.
    I cry in the dark, cuz I know I cut too deep.

    The blood is like the rain,
    in every way it drifts away.
    The scars are real, but the wounds in the heart
    are another mark.
    If you only knew what I've been through,
    or maybe you could take a walk in my shoes.

    I'm not fake, I'm not a doll,
    I just don't think I'm the same in any way.
    So where did my soul go?
    Why did I ever let it runaway?
    What happened to that girl?

    The one that could make you laugh,
    the one that would always take you out?
    What happened to that girl,
    cuz I'm lost without her?
    I'm no longer me, the mistakes changed me,
    but did they change her?
    If only I would know.


  • BEST OF EVERYTHING with her..

    To be a mother is not an easy task,
    yet you do it proudly everyday no matter what is asked.
    You have turned your baby into a beautiful young lady.
    You were there for me since the very beginning and saved me countless tears.
    The pushy and wise advice you gave will carry me through the years.
    With my every mistake or wrongful deed,
    you were always there to understand.
    You put no limits on my dreams or anything else I wish to do.
    You never forget to say you care or that you love me to.
    The smile and tears upon your face when I achieve provides me with more value in my heart then you’d ever believe.
    There is no other person that will shape my heart the way you’ve done,
    your job finished perfectly for your precious daughters and son.
    We have had a rocky road through triumph and catastrophe, hard time and despair,
    but not a single moment of time of not having a wonderful mother there.
    You have always put in your last with love and my whole life is not enough time for me to repay you.
    We always put our disagreements to the side and manage to make it through.
    I know that my teen years have driven you crazy but you have guided me with assurance along the way.
    You have given me comfort and certainty with every breath I take within the day.
    Your little girl is growing up but your baby girl will always remain deep inside me.
    There are not enough words that can thank you for everything you have helped me emotionally and physically.
    I have my whole future ahead of me and you are the women that has leaded me and guided me towards the proper path.
    How can one simple day prove that much thanks and love to someone who has pushed this far and still is working her way? No other person deserves a more wonderful appreciation...

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littlebianca

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    • Name: Bianca
    • Birthday: 2/14/1981
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 1/16/2009

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  • i am a person with many things yet to learn and to understand. highly motivated i enjoy being with different kinds of people. desserts - will always be a part of my life. i drink plenty of water! =) sometimes unpredictable. i value the people i love - all are worth fighting for The Lord is my life's greatest treasure! =) i love the beach hmmm... chocolates, chocolates, chocolates! =) i love to travel one specific thing that i want to do is to go Safari in Africa! =) its my passion to dance and to swim (no, not at the same time... hehe or not yet? wehehe) I have so many things to thank the Lord for... =) I simply love being HIS child!!! =)

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